That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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