just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
