i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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