hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
