Only a mothe r could love this liver
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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