I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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