dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
