Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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