If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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