Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
