you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
