Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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