but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
