Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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