I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
