:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
