She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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