I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
