Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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