Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize