So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
