I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
