I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
