I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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