went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
