you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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