i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
