Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
