He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
