Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
