ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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