I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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