Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
