There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
