I want to make a zoo with you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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