I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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