the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
