peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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