did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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