their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
