My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
