lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
