Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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