Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
