I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We need to get me chipped asap
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
