I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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