Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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