We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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