new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
