wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
