That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
