He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
