I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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