so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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