meet me or not, i'm out of control
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
